Sunday, March 18, 2007

obligatory psychotic jackass

that has nothing to do with what i'm writing, i just more or less wanted to get your attention. now that i have it, i have nothing to keep you here, just hopes of you feeling sorry for me and staying.

sometimes...i wish i was a schizo...TIME OUT let me explain. i would either have an excuse to be as weird as i am or i would be institutionalized and i wouldnt have to work or pay for things and i would have some sweet highclass meds. i'm not like a drug addict or anything. swear. and that sweet padded room. who doesnt want to live in a room made out of pillows? if you dont then you are crazy...or not crazy, i dont know. anyways, not like a real wish or anything. its just me ya know having all the time in the world to think because my job is soooooo boring when there isnt any customers. thats kind of a whole nother blog and no one wants to hear about my lame job anyway, other then i make quite a bit of money, which is nice, but it all goes to bills anyway. ahh, the vicious circle that is coporate america. dont worry, i'm not one of those fuck the coporate world people or anything i just think that bills kinda suck sometimes. but i definitely dont want this place to turn into china...communism=not cool.

did you know that more people are killed every year during donkey rides than plane crashes? it makes me feel a lot better about planes, but not so safe about asses. but then again, who are these crazy people who RIDE DONKEYS. oh, hey, there is a kicking, stubborn animal...LET'S SADDLE UP. lame.

in other news, viet nam came to visit me the other morning. if you dont know what i am referencing when i say viet nam then you suck. hard. anyway here i am in my bathroom dealing wtih viet nam. and i realize that this is the first official viet nam visit in a long time. it hasnt been normal lately and this time it was. thank goodness. sorry to gross you all out, but um yeah i had to tell someone that as a result of me being less stressed my body is normal again. except for the weight thing, that is next on the agenda.

who wants to buy me an elliptical? c'mon i know you're dying to. its just a measely 800 bucks. better yet, TAKE ALL UNHEALTHY FOOD AWAY FROM ME. all i want is to be in front of people and not feel like all they are thinking is damn, some lean cuisine wouldnt hurt much. blech. i know i'm not like morbidly obese, but umm, how long before i am ya know? it almost makes me not want to have kids because i am going to blow up like a blimp...i know it. anyway...i am gonna go i think cuz i'm pretty sure if anyone besides courtney reads this they are sufficiently creeped out. a lot.

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