this blog is going to possibly one of the only truly heartfelt blogs i ever write. you are all lucky that i am feeling bold enough to post this on the internet for the world to see.I finally got a job yesterday, and you know why i got a job? because i prayed for help from God. say what you will, but prayer works, even if you dont get the answer you want, it works. i was in the shower, thinking seriously about moving home, living with my parents, getting a dead end job, and eventually be stuck in the claws of my small hometown and not able to leave. i asked God for help, i told him that i really needed to know where i need to be, i need to know what the right move is. I went to the mall a few hours later and while filling out an application and JCPenny, was asked by a manager if i wanted to interview immediately after. of course i said yes, so i interviewed and they practically handed me a position. i have been absolutely beaming ever since. the days preceeding this were the hardest days of my life. do you know what its like to feel like you are in such a bad place that you wonder what it was like if you were just dead? i do. i'm not saying i'm suicidal, because i'm not, i think suicide is a selfish act, and i never once thought of ways i could end my life, but i did think about how much easier everyones life might be if i wasnt in it. I know now that i am a worthwhile person and that even though i am in a tight spot and not sure if there is a light at the end of it all, i am going to be okay. i am going to be just fine.
oh and another thing. one of my friends from home got in a car accident last weekend, a bad one. he was hit head on by a drunk driver and he and his girlfriend are in critical condition. he has brainstem damage, a collapsed lung, both his legs and his arms are broken. his girlfriend isnt in much better shape. could you please pray for them? i havent hung out with him in a long time and i feel super guilty about it. i dont want the last time i see him to be in a casket. please please please pray for him and his girlfriend.
POBS
1 comment:
not really the same thing but kind of...
when i was a senior in high school ('04 sometime) i stood out in my driveway looking at the stars praying to god that someday, i didn't care when and i didn't care how long it lasted--this guy, ryan, would love me, and we'd have each other... as long as He saw fit.
in March of '06, I got it. Whatever happened was real. It didn't last very long, but it was VERY, V.E.R.Y. real.
I totally believe in the power of prayer.
And I'm SO GLAD you finally got a job! Proud of you love! :)
*mwah*
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